From expectations to infinite possibilities.

Book: Coming Full Circle Through Changes, Challenges and Transitions.

Heart break is most often experienced because of expectations that we hold about how things are “supposed to be” or how we want them to be. One of the major reasons we become angry is because people, events, or circumstances are contrary to our expectations. When this occurs, we can immediately know that we are creating our own anger or disappointment because we are denying how things are. Byron Katie’s book: “Loving What Is” is an excellent resource for understanding the importance of embracing “what is.” Once we realize the importance of this concept, we know that our own mind is creating the pain or anger we are experiencing because of our expectations of how we think it should be. Our own minds/egos are causing our suffering. And oftentimes, our expectations aren’t even realistic, but we hold on to them as “givens” and then feel betrayed when they don’t turn out as we expected they “should.” Actually the betrayal occurs because of our own inability to allow and accept things to be as they are.

Removing expectations makes room for infinite possibilities to arise that would have been impossible for the finite mind to conceive. It is so easy to have expectations regarding how we want things to evolve and manifest, and yet often that can be limiting. My friend Aron Abrahamsen used to say, when he prayed for something, he added: “this or something better.” He knew the wisdom of not limiting the Universe (God) in its response. Sometimes, what we expect may not be what is ultimately best for us. But there may be something much better that lies ahead in a “bigger picture” that we can’t see at the moment. This has certainly been the case many, many times in my life.

Ken Keyes, in his book: “A Conscious Person’s Guide to Relationships” called these expectations “addictions” or addictions to outcomes. His thought was to upgrade those addictions to “preferences” maintaining that it is fine to prefer a certain outcome, just don’t attach to it. I wrote a blog about this very subject a few months ago.

These expectations can create huge problems in our relationships, whether with a spouse, a child, a friend, or in our workplace. Once we allow ourselves to think another person should act or respond in the same manner we would, we have failed to allow for individual differences in: familial background experiences, childhoods, and early programming through cultural mores, churches, and schools. These exert great influence and form and inform each life. One of the tasks we have all come in human form to work on is to learn to love unconditionally. And to learn unconditional love, is also to find the magic in discovering ourselves and others without trying to make either conform to the expectations and faulty notions of our finite and limited minds. Once we have done this we have entered into the garden of infinite possibilities where there are riches far beyond anything our finite minds could have comprehended!

Two of my blogs related to this topic are:

The Essence of Love

The Magic of Discovering Ourselves and Others


  1. Cheryl Rancourt on August 10, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    You are wonderfully gifted my friend
    Thank you so much for all the work you do
    And sharing it all —- i only wish I could write as you do — so admirable
    You teach me something new everytime I read your work , it’s so appreciated —-
    Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

  2. Ione on August 10, 2016 at 5:03 pm

    And thank you my dear Cheryl. Keep writing and pouring out your heart on paper and the Universe will use you and your words. As time goes by you will develop your own style and the Universe/God will use you to bless others!! You express yourself quite nicely and I appreciate all the words you have written to me. Blessings, Ione

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